Peace

My plane landed in Phuket but it was slightly delayed which meant i missed the boat to phi phi. Therefore, had to wait until the next day. I headed to Patong (should be renamed Hoarville) It may have a been a cracking night but i was flying solo and tired. It is safe to say it is not a a very nice place. Imagine blackpool x-rated.

Went for a meal on my own (cool n that). Quite a depressing experience and even the waiter took pity on me and took a seat (bless)

After my meal i strolled to the beach to read my book and watch the sunset. ( Here comes my second close encounter with a hooker(s)) I was well in to my book when the destraction of 5 hookers came. They decided to gang up on me.

I was ambushed, It all happened so quickly - One straddled my neck, the second was on my lap as the other three all draped off me (Some people may think - 'Heaven')

I did not, I dont dig that and i was really into my book (geek)

As they have been coached to do they kept telling me how gorgeous I was, I of course con-curred with this.

They struggled to understand why I did not want all 5 of them to come back to my room. First of all, my room contained a small double bed (where would they fit?) It would have been a logistical night mare. Secondly, If anybody has read Dead Famous- Ben Elton (Not Elton John's son, as one girl has previously asked! But to give her credit she was reading Katie Price - Autobiography, so what do you expect)

Back to to the hookers,

If anybody has read Dead Famous I was well in the last third and nothing was going to destract me from the job in hand.

I managed to explain my predicamnt and they left accordingly.

Yesterday I hit a boat ride round some islands, trip included kayaking, snorkelling and swimming. Good News - waterproof camera is waterproof (it has now survived the sea and a pint). Managed to snap a school of fish swimming around me.

Highlight was Maya beach (''The Beach'' 2000). I could quite happily build a little shack (i am a very good carpenter) and settle down there. Tried to take a few snaps but it really does not do it justice, so i will steal one off google and insert. Went for a little dip and saw a shark, i hasten(sp) to add that add that it was only a foot and a half long. But still!

Given my current surroundings I had visions of being cut open and being dragged 'The Beach' and Di Caprio having to save my pain and dignity by suffocating me. Gladly this did not occur.

First night out in Phi Phi was big. 7 pints before ten spells trouble. Met up with some really good guys and girls and partied hard on the beach. The great lyricist Ricardo Warburtino once said

'The beach at night is the place to hang out'

Woke this morning to a huge storm. Phi Phi has been my favourite place so far but the weather has been poor, therefore, giving me a good reason to come back. Boys on tour Christmas 2010, anyone?

Had a little rain soaked walk up the veiwpoint today (see damage from Tsunami) and the catching the boat to krabi. Slowly but surely making my way to Ko pan yan to meet up with Will and a huge crew.

Side note - As it now faebook official. Benjamin Cox has quit his job and is coming to join - What a man! (Dubsy you are weak)

Also, I saw the greates T-shirt ever today. It read, (If you have been to Thai you will love it)

I dont want a f**cking tuk tuk
I dont want a f**king massage
I dont want a f**king suit

Now....F**k off

Love and all that x

Musings of MJW

Good Morning all,

Last few days i have been out of coms (trekking in the jungle and that).

Got the over night train to chang mai, fell asleep early doors, therefore awoke at 3 a;m (error). First night in chang mai i headed out and had good night at thai boxing, I wanted to have a go but they took one look at me and realised i was to much of a frame. I didn't catch the whole dialect, something about it being unfair for the other fighters.

That night i saw a 4 year old elephant dancing in a bar, he was OK, but i out classed him with my robot. Neyo - Closer is where he really shone through.

Next day i woke up at 9 (bed at 7 -the red bull out here is lethal) 3day trekking through the jungle included, trekking (obvious) night out in the jungle, elephant riding, 3 hours up a mountain, waterfall showering, a night with a jungle tribe/community, visiting a mountain school (seriously cute children) trekking and bamboo rafting.

Gave my passport and camera to the guy punting and as we were being laaaaaaads we accidentally knocked him in (oops). He fell head under but at all time kept his little arm outstretched so no to get my belongings wet (legend) after is heroic deeds he lost his flips. As the man i am i jumped in and saved the flips, cheers,

That brings me up to last night, had a nice chilled night and watched the sunrise on roof top bar, very nice indeed,

A little side note, first morning in Bangkok i was confronted by three men asking if i wanted f**k for breakfast, i declined as i was after some OJ and a cereal bar. Unfortunately they persisted,

'Sir, f**k now, your d**k in her mouth now'

I again politely declined. They next question threw me

'why?'

Now, Do i be honest and say that i did not want to go anywhere near his diseased riddled hoar and i thought his career choice as a pimp was less than admirable? I thought better of it and instead went with the worst excuse not to have a f**k for breakfast.

'I am tired'


Peace out

MJ (not the dead singer)

Good Day,

This is the first of my little notes to share with you the what is going down in the life of mjw. I arrived yesterday and have been getting ripped off ever since. Bangkok is not my fave place in the world.

I had a pretty chilled firstt night, I arrived in town at around 8ish, booked into my hostel and went to some bars to make friends(aaaaw). The combination of meeting 8 Irish plumbers and drinking Chang beer (6.4%) has left me with the worst hangover imaginable (for the man who does not get hangovers, its like all the hangovers i have missed have ganged up on me and beat me to a pulp). The end result of this was opeing my door this morning and as i was trying to talk through it (simple task) i missed it and walked into the wall. I now am aporting a very nice egg on me head (cheers).

I am heading up Chang mai today for a4 or 5 days.

Keep it real

Loves x x